system error: geez, what brought you here?!

is it so criminal nowadays to want something with a foreseeable outcome??

screw me. but screw you just the same. if all things were not created to be infinite, then why bother with the stable and all that loada crap referred to as permanent?!

one time, my friend-- nay, my ex-friend-- rather my acquaintance, or simply this person (since i lost track already of what we really are to each other) asked me pointblank, "Ba't ba lahat ng bawal gusto mo meron ka?!" translation: "Why do you want to have everything that's prohibited?! (or illicit, or illegal, or unlawful, or forbidden, or unauthorized--depending on your choice of thesaurus term)

and i was really really taken aback by that question.

No.1: Everything?! I haven't even befriended dear old coke, or even the poor man's coke, or marijuana, or whatever it is in the stretch of illegal drugs name, so there, that kicks everything prohibited's ass

No.2: Are we even talking of the same "illegal" here?? Your illegal could mean only those punishable by the law while my illegal might actually run the gamut of everything which is morally, ethically, and politically wrong and inconceivable,

which brings me to this, why can't anyone humor me for fancying foreseeable ends?!

why can't anyone understand that i'd rather have a relationship which i know will end, than that which promises the flowers and the bees and the moon up above, until such a time when the flowers start wilting, the bees start stinging, and the moon up above start, well, eclipsing?!

of course i too, would want a real relationship, preferably with a real man, or preferably still with a real hot lady. i would want that cutesy relationship which gets you flooding your friendster, your multiply, your facebook or whatever photo album-enabled online account you have with oh-so-cutesy-pictures of you two together, or of him during his childhood years looking so much like the cutesy offsprings you two are planning to bring to this world.

i would very much want that cutesy relationship which makes me celebrate cutesy monthsaries, and later, cutesy anniversaries where we give each other really cutesy stuff like cutesy stuffed toys, with cutesy pillows, and really really cutesy clothes. we repeat this cutesy cycle until later we both just burst with too much cutesies in our world. *happiness*

EXACTLY why i embrace the "foreseeable" culture. because you know what happens when you're in a real relationship and then for a lot of circumstantial and substantial reasons, you start hating each other?! you try to make things work again, even if everything, everyone is already pulling you apart. you try to remember all the cutesy memories you've shared and then pretend that those will suffice. until of course, the relationship just goes kaput, again, for a lot of circumstantial and substantial reasons plus the everyone who just kept on telling you it'd be so much better without the other.

and in a real relationship, i'd have to go through the trouble of removing all those uploaded "happily-coupled" pics, changing my status to something which resembles 'single', and of course, doing the impossible: forgetting the time when things went awry.

REAL gets you reeling backwards, keeling and breathless, begging not to be dealt another blow.

FORESEEABLE gives you certainty. it readies you for the punches waiting to be thrown. sure it's gonna bruise but then you also eagerly bounce back. Certainty and Readiness are good things, after all, wasn't self-preservation a primary human instinct??

just like getting inebriated:

if im in the drinking spree mood, i'd choose strong ice or red horse, even pale pilsen, over your classy lineup of cocktails, mixes, and any other liquor.

it's not being reckless, it's wanting the certainty again. I know that with the brand of beer i've chosen, three regular bottles get me tipsy, and three more get me dead drunk, gibberish, or plainly knocked-out (of course, "happy horses" comprise a different equation).

While Cuervos (i don't finish a bottle, idiot), are open to unmeasured intakes especially in shot glasses. one second you're opening the bottle, the next, you won't even know what hit you. then the white russians, the mix of which (as well as any other cocktails), varies according to bar policies, so some you'd enjoy, others you wished you never ordered in the first place.

But Beer is absolute. I might want vodka from time to time, but it is the certainty, the "foreseeability" of beer that gets me hooked.

Foreseeable, such a lovely taste it leaves in the palette.

P.S. If you're a friend, and you've read this, and you're happily-coupled, lemme extend my sincerest and warmest regards to both of you.

P.P.S. If and only If, you two have been together for at least half a decade or so (that excludes you chiqui)

^__^

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