i hate the fact that instead of doing my 3000-5000-word specialized writing article for Sir Vic's class, i'm blogging..

i also hate that there's this stoofid langaw which absentmindedly swam in my chocolate drink this morning, *sigh* ofkorz, i couldn't get another glass of chocolate, daddy makes me my chocolate drink and i like his concoction better and yes he and mommy left early again for Tagaytay.. good thing kuya gave me his choclit drink or i would've bickered all morning at the stoofid langaw.. DIE LANGAW, DIE!!

and i most hate this: that i have yet to deliver three over-overdue articles to my editors.. and all i could do is bash Kelly Clarkson for coming up with the song SOBER..

KELLY CLARKSON
Sober


And I don't know
This could break my heart or save me
Nothing's real
Until you let go completely
So here I go with all my thoughts I've been saving
So here I go with all my fears weighing on me

Three months and I'm still sober
Picked all my weeds but kept the flowers
But I know it's never really over

And I don't know
I could crash and burn but maybe
At the end of this road I might catch a glimpse of me
So I won't worry about my timing, I want to get it right
No comparing, second guessing, no not this time

Three months and I'm still breathing
Been a long road since those hands I left my tears in but I know
It's never really over, no

Wake up

Three months and I'm still standing here
Three months and I'm getting better yeah
Three months and I still am

Three months and it's still harder now
Three months I've been living here without you now
Three months yeah, three months

Three months and I'm still breathing
Three months and I still remember it
Three months and I wake up

Three months and I'm still sober
Picked all my weeds but kept the flowers

~~~

NOTHING'S REAL UNTIL YOU LET GO COMPLETELY.

Maybe, that's it, maybe that's why i can't even begin to grasp the weight of everything that's been happening to me

It's because i'm still pathetically clinging to you..

Gawd, it's been three months, and i still don't have the balls to even look you in the eye when you came to "visit"

And you know just how pathetic i am when i say i'm PATHETIC?!

I still can't bring myself to wash the hanky you used when you wept.. for her.. because i came to mess it all up for the two of you..

ok, i know it's pretty gross to still keep that mucus-tainted hanky,

but really, i couldn't care less.. when it's all i have of you left..

What would I not give to have you and our world again??

But don't mind me, you know I've always seen my own way out.. and I'm happy because you did the right thing and you're a better man with that..

I just wish it were also that easy to say that I can be with someone and not look for you in him..

:' (